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I was contemplating what my personal involvement would be for this year’s Relay for Life event. As I drove on U.S. 25 heading for the Hogan House, I remembered the joyful faces of a couple children who had been going through cancer treatments and who had lost all their hair. They were making the best of a terrible situation. The hair loss is a well known part of cancer treatment and people handle it in different ways.
To suddenly be bald can be quite a shock to some people. In my brother’s case, he was insistent on immediately having a wig so that his kids and my kids and all the other cousins would not see that one part of the reality of treating the horrible disease from which he was suffering. The wig, or toupe, sat like a dead rat on his head, but no one let on that it was worse than seeing him hairless, until my 3-year-old son pointed it out. We all had a tearfully good laugh.
Having organized and sponsored eight successful fundraising events in just over a year, I was feeling a bit burned-out on getting involved in our team effort for Relay for Life. Then an idea came to me that required nearly no effort from me to raise money for the Grant County News Relay for Life team. I wondered if anyone would pay to have me shave my head. The act would be symbolic of sharing what many of our family, friends and neighbors actually endure in fighting cancer.
Expanding on this, I wondered if anyone would pay to see someone else shave their head. I asked three friends if they would like to be in a friendly competition to raise money for Relay for Life and was very surprised when they said yes.
The idea is basic and simple. Whoever (of the four of us) has the most money donated in their name by 5 p.m. Friday, May 13, will shave their head prior to the Relay for Life event. It’s a Hair Today and Gone in May kind of thing.
I asked Grant County Waste Management Director Bryan Miles if he would participate.
“Sure, I’ll be in it,” Bryan said. “There isn’t any way it would be me. And, if it will stop you from running your fingers through my boyish good looking hair I am all for it...and raising money for the Relay...but mostly to stop you from running your fingers through my long wavy natural skull-top-age.”
I asked Williamstown Mayor Rick Skinner, if he would participate.
“I’ll do it,” the mayor confidently said. “There’s no way it will be me who has the most money plunked on their head. Do you know who would be funny with a shaved head? It would be Bill Glass. I think he’s hiding something under his hair.”
I asked Bill Glass, former banker and present day Baptist.
“Sure, count me in,” said Bill. “There is no way more money would be put on me than on Skinner. As mayor, I am sure there are a lot of people who would like to get back at him for something.”
So here, dear reader, is your challenge.
Whoever of the four of us has the most money donated by 5 p.m. Friday, May 15, in our name, will have their head shaved.
If Mayor Skinner ever did anything to you that made you mad, here’s a chance for a little revenge by dropping dollars on his head by way of Relay for Life. If you know and like the guy and just want to enjoy the mirth of seeing him with a polished dome, then donate in his name.
If you have ever seen the moonlight shining off the long silky auburn locks of Bryan Mile’s Conway Twitty-like hair style, then you can probably imagine the regal dome that lies beneath. Wouldn’t it be fun to see him, rather than imagine him, bald. Would it not be funny to see Bryan shed 40 pounds off the top of his head?
Bill Glass is delightfully distinguished with his silver and white Charlie Rich style hair that dances in the wind mesmerizing the southern ladies like Clark Gable in “Gone With the Wind.” Bill doesn’t think he has anything to worry about but I heard he is collecting hats and sunblock.
If you put enough money into the game under the name of his lordship the mayor, Rick Skinner, you will not have to imagine how he looks bald. He will be bald all in the name of supporting Grant County’s Relay for Life, American Cancer Society, event.
Me, well, I have hair on my head. It’s nothing to brag about or to take time fussing with. I am not good looking with hair, so why would you want to see me without hair—that’s a statement and not a question. You would get much better quality mileage out of your donation by sending it in or dropping it off with one of the other names. Besides, the tattoo has probably been scrubbed off after 43 years of Head and Shoulder shampoo abuse.
You can make checks payable to: American Cancer Society. To mail, send your donation to the Grant County News, P. O. Box 247, Williamstown, Ky. 41097, or drop checks or cash off at our office in the historic Hogan House, 129 S. Main, (US 25 Bypass), Dry Ridge, Ky. 41035. You can also make the donation at the Chamber of Commerce office, downtown Williamstown.
Forget about the gentlemanly competition. Seems the gloves are off as all the “contestants” above realize, yes indeed, it could be them who has a weed whacker aimed at their scalp.
When I had the idea I tried to logically guess as how much could be raised for the Grant County Relay for Life event. I thought $500 would be good. So I made up the unobtainable sum at which all of us, his lordship the mayor, pretty boy with the golden fleece, the retired southern gentleman financier Baptist and misunderstood me, would shave our heads. That total is $10,000.
Would it not be fun to see a group photo like that. You can make it happen.
(Ken Stone is publisher of the Grant County News. He can be reached at email@example.com or by calling 859-824-3343.)